You considered me a friend, but I hated your guts!
by inspire.me
Summary: COMPLETE! WJ, DevanTorture! If someone else tried to take your man, how would you like to get a chance to fight back... with your man by your side?
1. A Room, A Chair, A Kiss

Author note- ok I'm warning you. This story is about a day in the life of Devan, and I can tell you that by the end of the day she will be scarred, both physically and mentally. If you are a fan of Devan (how could you??), or a fan of Devan and Woody as a couple (HOW COULD YOU???????) then do NOT read this. Well, no actually, please read, but don't hunt me down ok?? Consider yourself warned.

However, if you hate Devan, have fun! Oh yeah, and if I owned Crossing Jordan, you wouldn't be reading this, you would be seeing it in an episode!

**You considered me a friend, but I just hated your guts!**

**Chapter 1- A room, a chair, a kiss**

A room. A big, big room. So big that she couldn't even see where the floor met the walls and the walls met the roof. It was all the same colour, a greyish beige. The kind of colour you wouldn't even call a colour. It was the kind of colour you would call plain, Nothing. Her eyes darted around, looking at the room, searching for an exit, but she couldn't see any doors. She couldn't even see where the room ended. All she could see was the chair she was sitting on and the cart a metre away. The chair was a dentist chair, her wrist handcuffed to the armrest. The cart was on wheels and had heaps of dentist stuff on it. Why was she here?

Then she saw the figure approach her. Devan squinted her eyes to try and figure out what it was. It was a person... a woman... it was Jordan. She was wearing a white lab coat and her hair was pulled back into a messy bun. As she walked closer Devan could see the smile plastered on Jordan's face. An evil smile.

"So Dr Maguire, how are we today?"

"Dr Cavanaugh, what brings you here?"

"Um, hello?? I've come to extract your teeth, duh."

"WHAT???? My teeth are fine! I used to be on The Bold And The Beautiful! I have a perfect smile!"

"Your point being.....?"

"This has nothing to do with my teeth does it?"

"Well, yes and no. Yes because I am going to extract your teeth so its kinda teeth related, but no because the reason has nothing to do with the current state of your teeth."

" Jordan, we used to be friends!"

"Um, yeah sure. Some friend you were."

"What?"

"See, not only are you purely evil, but now your blondeness is starting to show! Thick as a brick. Blonde as a... blonde."

"What the hell?"

"Point proven! Definitely blonde. Now let's started."

"Wait!" yelled a voice Devan was extremely relieved to hear. She turned around and saw Woody walking towards them.

"Woody! Jordan is acting crazy! Please talk some sense into her!" But Woody just walked past her, ignored her. She watched in horror as Woody walked to the cart and put on a lab coat just like Jordan's. And then he turned to Jordan, smiled and asked "Now, you weren't going to start the procedure without me?"

"Of course not, baby." Jordan replied as she planted a small, yet loving kiss on Woody's mouth. Devan could only gasp as Woody started to kiss back.

Man, of all days to be handcuffed to a dentist chair.


	2. Horror Stories

Before I start, I'm going to take the time to tell you how this story came about…

It was Friday the 15th of October, 2004, and I was in art class. My friends and I never really concentrated in art. We just talked and drew in our school diaries. I was going through my diary and I'm like EEK I'M GETTING MY TEETH PULLED OUT NEXT WEDNESDAY!!!! See, I was getting braces and so they had to take out some of my teeth yeah? Following? Ok so I'm like full on freaking out and my friend Kate is like 'It's not that bad, you just have to think of something else while they do it. Why don't you think of Devan getting her teeth pulled out??' Cos see, she knows my obsession with Crossing Jordan and my pure hatred for Devan Maguire. So I'm like whoaaaaaaaa….. and I start thinking up a story. But it was only in my head.

Fast forward a month or something later, my other friend who is a Devan and Woody fan started to write heaps of wd fics and was posting them and so I was like YOU WILL BE SORRY!!! I'M GOING TO WRITE THE TOOTH STORY!!!

So yeah, now I'm writing it and posting it…

Enjoy the next chapter

Luv me

Ps- just a note to all the people who are waiting for a sequel to 'Gloating' by Amethyst Blizzard, sorry to disappoint you but it ain't gonna happen. It's against Libby's nature to write WJ fics, and that one was only WJ by mistake. She didn't realise that was how it was coming across. She is fully WD- someone talk some sense into her!!!

* * *

Devan- still handcuffed to the chair.

Jordan and Woody- walking around the chair, interrogation style.

"So Devan, let me tell you everything you need to know about Woody and me. Woody and I worked on some cases together. You know, me criticising his awful sense in ties, him starring at me in a red dress, you get the picture. Everything was great. We were like best friends. But see, I've like got some issues. Intimacy problems- I don't let people get close to me, in fear that I may lose them. But seeing as I am the title character in this show, I had to have a love interest at some point."

"So Devan, see Jordan and I worked on this case that led us to some weird website, and Jordan had to go undercover, and she was wearing this oh so sexy red dress, with this slit up the side."

"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!!" Devan yelled, tears now welling in her eyes.

"I take offence to that!" Jordan retaliated.

"Ladies, time out! I was telling a story, remember?" He walked up to Jordan and kissed her on the neck… "About you, and your little red dress…"

Devan thought she was about to puke!

"So anyway, we caught the bad guy, who turned out to be not so bad , cos the real bad guy was this weird dude with all the screens."

"Hey Wood, you know what, he kinda reminded me of Ed Deline."

"What, off Las Vegas?"

"Yeah him. What do you reckon?"

"Yeah… but Devan, there was this other case, in California."

"Ohhh. I remember that one. Can I tell the story?"

"Sure, baby."

"Ok, well I want to go with him, but he won't let me because he's a jackass, and there was this other thing the last time we'd been in California… but that is like SO another story.

"So he goes to California, and he sees me, and I've got this cute red car..."

"Yeah, Jordan, it was the Cadillac of Cadillacs! It fricken broke down in the middle of the desert!!!!!!"

"But Woody, if it hadn't broke down…"

"You do have a point there. You're very smart, you know that?"

"Why, thankyou kind sir. Anyway, so the car broke down in the middle of the desert, and nobody used that road because it wasn't a road- it was a dotted line. And so then it got dark, and we built this little campfire. It was so cool, we were just talking, you know. And then, then I kissed him…"

"Please, Jordan, can you just stop now?? I really, really don't need to hear about you and Woody out in the desert!" The tears were now streaming down her face. This was already the worst day of her entire life, and the most horrible parts were still to come…

To be continued…

Hey lib, hope it's killing ya


	3. Craziness

Hello all. It's time for LOVE and COMMITMENT! Haha. Nah, it's time for Devan torture, don't we all just love it?? Maybe I should warn you that this story is getting weirder and weirder, and it's only going to get even more weird. If you got a problem, don't read. If not, READ!!!! Oh, and reviews are nice.

Ok, I'm in the mood for saying stuff to all my reviewers so here goes…

**supershipper-JA-JC-WJ**- Oooo, I like your fic idea! Oh, and thanks for telling me I rock. It's fun to rock! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

**lily-cavanaugh**- Not a WJ fan? How could you? Nah, like who you wanna like, it's up to you, but I'm glad that even "you" can see that Devan is evil.

**Elisabeth Carmichael**- I am so happy that you like the story! You like the WJ romance stories? Don't we all? They are so ADDICTIVE! Lol, my friend needs to wake up and stop having such perverted thoughts? Yep, for sure! She's a nutcase, but a hell of a good writer. I just read all of her fics and pretend each "Devan" is "Jordan"… 15 teeth?? OUCH! I've only had 4, it ain't that bad… except when there's still a nerve that won't go numb and you can still kinda feel it when they pull it out… eek! But I'll let you in on a little secret- in this story, Devan is not getting any anaesthetic!!! She is going to feel each tooth being pulled out… isn't torture divine!

**Moonders**- Awww, the highlight of your day? That's so sweet! I'm really glad that you love the story, and I'll try not to take too long between updates… but school is going back soon so that might screw up stuff.

**Jess**- Cause her pain? Oh yeah baby I'm going to cause her pain! You're an alias obsessed freak you know that? Bet you're gonna go see Elektra huh? Lol, remember when we had Ms Thompson for French and we were talking bout all the actors… hahaha!

And last but definitely NOT least…

**Amethyst Blizzard**- Awwww Libby Wibby Dibby Hibby Jibby, where would I be without you? Probably a lot happier! Nah, you are cooliez! I want your autograph so when you're a famous writer I can be like I KNEW HER!!! Lol, the point is if you are reading this, you were intending to read about my latest chapter of Devan torture, and you like Devan so I'm kinda confused. Ahh, that's right. Peter. Oh, and are you still with Howard? Ha ha I saw our year 7 class photo the other day, you and Lynden are standing next to each other, looking almost identical, and you both look retarded, deformed, and hilariously funny! Hehe, Nigel hair!

Anyways. I still don't own Crossing Jordan or even a soundtrack yet. But I do have many episodes on tape…

And just to let you know, in a couple of chapters time, I am probably changing the rating back to R, which I know is totally illogical, since I am only 13 myself, but just to be safe…

And just one more thing - I swear it's the last thing – What I said about "Gloating" also applies to "Still Frame". Sorry, but just so you don't all wait in suspense for a follow-up.

Sorry, I lied. One more thing- THANK YOU SO MUCH to a certain person who helped me with this chapter... it's your touch that makes this chapter so evil, but I guess you don't fully see that as a good thing, huh? I'm keeping your identity a secret so that your cover isn't blown. Didn't think you would appreciate having your credability as an anti-wj torn apart :-)

Anyways… enough talking. Or should I say- a little less conversation, a little more action…

* * *

Devan couldn't believe this. Her friend and her boyfriend were ganging up on her. Well, I guess that meant Jordan wasn't exactly her friend. And Woody sure as hell wasn't her boyfriend. She hadn't meant to intrude, she hadn't know their past together. But hey bitch, nobody cares so just give it up already! Sit down - that shouldn't be too hard, since you're handcuffed to the chair!! - Shut up, and listen to what Jordan has to say!

Jordan was pointing an accusing finger at Devan while swaying slightly back and forth. "So then you just waltz into our lives, like you came straight from cheerleading practice."

Woody smirked at this but kept his eyes on Jordan as she continued tormenting Devan. "And then you think you're just as good as the rest of us at the morgue, and better because you figured out the stupid plutonium thing on your first day on the job. Yeah, really impressive… you thought you were so heroic, but you are like so not. Proof? Who is the one handcuffed to the chair? Ha! What have you got to say for yourself? Huh? HUH??"

Devan cringed as Jordan sneered into her face. She thought of something quick. "Oh, and what is your idea of heroism?"

Jordan gave Woody a coy side-look. "Well, there was once this detective, who shot and killed a man, miles away from home, to save the life of his friend."

"Baby, she wasn't just a friend…" Woody nodded slyly as he glanced at Devan.

"Oh my gosh, can you two just stop the whole 'Story of Jordan and Woody'? Oh, and can you **please **stop calling each other 'baby'?!" Devan shifted in her chair as she felt her circulation suddenly tightening into a thin line.

Woody looked thoughtful. "Ok then, Jordan is it ok if I call you sexy instead?"

"Sure, sexy."

Then Devan lost it. "Noooooooooooooooooo!"

Jordan just ignored the annoying wailing. "So where was I again?"

"You were in the middle of insulting me," Devan's eyes filled with malice.

Smirking cunningly, Jordan held a finger up to her chin. "Oh yeah. So anyway, it's getting to the stage where I can't even watch Law and Order anymore because the stupid Serena chick reminds me of you!"

Woody nodded, agreeing. "I don't like her."

Devan suddenly lightened up, joining in on the conversation. "Neither, I liked that Claire chick from ages ago."

"I can't remember her. Which one was she?" Woody held up his chin in thought.

Jordan whipped out a picture…from nowhere. "Remember her?"

Woody looked at it. "Oh my God, Sexy. She looks like you!"

"Oh shit, she does!" Jordan exclaimed while squinting hard into the photo.

Devan just stared at her. "Um, hello?? You're both played by Jill Hennessy!"

Woody took the photo from Jordan. "Jill Hennessy looks just like you too!"

"This is hopeless…"

Jordan seemed to snap back to reality. "Anyway, the point is that you, Devan Maguire, are a complete cow. A selfish bitch. A… I can't think of anymore names to call you but you get the picture."

Devan squealed. "But all I want is you, Woody!"

Jordan gave the blonde an incredulous look. "Um, so not happening."

Woody nodded. "Devan, I mean, you can't just intrude!"

"Oooooooooooooo…intruded. Hey sexy, remember that episode?"

Woody gave her a sly look. "As if I could forget…"

Frowning, Jordan leaned her arm against his shoulder. "Well, you did refuse my offer at the end…"

"It's not my fault! You have no idea how much I wanted to stay, but the stupid writers are turning me into an arsehole!"

Jordan gave him a look. "And don't forget Amethyst Blizzard who wrote a post-intruded fanfic where you decided you and I were 'out of time' and you got with Devan!!!"

Devan perked up…perkily. "Ooo yay! What happened between us?"

Woody threw her a cold look. "Nothing. We just ate Chinese."

Devan shrugged. "But I don't like Chinese!"

"Well sometimes you don't always get what you want…" Woody looked serious for a moment.

"Well, baby- whoops, I mean sexy, are you saying you want to get with Devan?" Jordan put her hands on her hips.

"No, I am not saying that at all," Woody suddenly began singing. "L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see. V is very very…"

Devan desperately wanted to cover her ears. "Please, please, just stop singing!"

Woody turned to Jordan with a hurt look on his face. "Hey sexy, I ain't that bad… am I?"

Jordan hesitated. "Um… don't take this the wrong way…"

"You sing like Charlie Carbone in Kangaroo Jack!" Devan screamed.

Jordan looked Woody up and down. "Oh my God, Woody…YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM!!

Devan raised her eyebrow. "Um hello? Woody and Charlie are both played by Jerry O'Connell!"

"Oh my God! You look like Jerry too!" Jordan was on the verge of screaming.

A faint sigh was heard from Devan. "Why do I bother…?"


	4. Lil Miss JME presents

Woody looked at Devan. So helpless, yet so evil, so malicious. No doubt about it, she was a calculating, conniving bitch. Like the popular cheerleader at high school, who had her army of friends and was with the hot footy player. Hey, that would make Woody the footy player, right? Well, this footy player was turning down the cheerleader in favour of the girl who started fights and sat in the corner playing the guitar.

Yeah, go Woody!

"See, the problem with you, Devan, is that you're just so… immature."

Devan starred at him. Immature? **Immature?** "Immature? Woody, it's not like I eat ice-cream for breakfast anymore…"

Jordan chuckled "Yeah, my bet is that you're a Fruit Loops fan!"

"Nope. Coco Pops."

Yeah. Devan Maguire, the oh so mature one.

Jordan's brain suddenly switched from breakfast cereal mode to rapper mode.

"Could you guys see me as a rapper?"

Woody suddenly had a vision of Jordan on MTV, wearing black leather shorts… tight shorts… _short_ shorts… and an eency weency bikini top, bashing up guitars and shaking her booty. Whoa, that was some vision.

"Oh my gosh, you can be anything you want to be, baby… I mean, _sexy_."

Devan cringed at the way Woody emphasised that last word, he said it so… _sexily_.

"Why the fuck would you want to be a rapper?"

"Cos I want to communicate to the world through my music!"

"Yeah, like you've got something to the world?"

"Yeah, and like your hair is naturally blonde?"

Devan starred at Jordan, confused. "But it is."

"Yeah, and my skin ain't black."

Devan was getting _totally_ confused now. "But you're white…"

"Says who?"

"Um, hello!"

The two girls both turned at Woody so their dispute could be settled, but Woody was just standing there with a glazed look in his eyes, as if he was picturing Jordan in one of those music videos that are too raunchy for a PG rating…

"EARTH TO WOODY!"

"Wha?" Woody came back down to Mars.

"I say her hair is dyed."

"I say my hair is naturally blonde."

"I say I'm black."

"I say her skin is WHITE!"

Woody starred at the two girls for a moment thinking it all through. He thought very hard…

"Jordan's right."

"COME AGAIN?" Devan pouted. Jordan just smiled evilly at her before kissing Woody on the cheek.

It was only a small peck on the cheek, but they may as well have been fucking right there in front of her, because Devan was so disgusted. Although she shouldn't count her blessings yet…

She was trying to figure out ways to kill herself… although the possibilities are sorta limited when you're handcuffed to a chair. Knife to the chest… damn, she'd need a knife. Knife to the head… damn, she'd need a knife. Knife to the foot… damn, she'd need a knife. Hold her breath until she died from lack of air… damn, she'd need a knife.

Or would she?

She stopped breathing… saying goodbye to the world mentally… her body crying for air. She held her breath for as long as she could. When she couldn't stand it anymore she opened her mouth, breathing deeply, before realising her blunder. Ha, stupid.

"So anyway Devan, I wrote a song about you. I think it's very good, you'd probably be proud."

"Ooo let's hear it!" Squealed Devan excitedly.

Woody looked up, Jordan was going to sing a song? What if his MTV visions were premonitions? Jordan in skimpy outfits… her hair flying everywhere… Let's just say Woody was glad that everyone's eyes were at head level.

"Woody, gimme a beat!"

So Woody started beat boxing a la the Charlie in Kangaroo Jack (yes, the one that looks like Woody!) and Jordan started the rap…

**_Yo, yo wassup now… this is Lil Miss JME_**

(note to people who don't get it, it stands for Jordan Medical Examiner… I mean, like DUH!)

She was shaking her booty… but not as pornographically as she had been in Woody's visions.

_**Yo Devan you came from wherever to Boston  
**__**Ya think you're so cool but really you're frostin'  
**_**_Ya think you're hot, but you're not, you're just a smelly little turd  
_**_**People like you should be neither seen nor heard  
**_**_And if ya do so much as whisper, you'll have to answer to me  
_**_**And ya'll end up on the table in autopsy three  
**__**The hardest thing for me will be to slice, not stab.  
**__**Stab- whoops sorry Devan, STAB STAB STAB!**_

_**Devan never gonna get the fella cos he's mine  
**__**Devan never gonna get to see his sexy behind  
**__**Devan definitely never ever gonna be  
**__**With Woody cos HE'S MY MAN  
**__**And he's gonna be with me**_

At this point Woody crossed his arms and added a very DMX-ish "Yeah."

Devan watched in awe. Man, Jordan was good. Definitely better than Woody. Although Woody did have some other stuff going for him… such as his major HOTNESS! Jordan was hot too, but Devan didn't really see that because she wasn't really into girls.

_**I can see you're not at home here in Massachusetts  
**__**Cos you belong on the streets with druggies and prostitutsets  
**__**Lifting your skirt up over your head  
**__**And getting men to pay you to take you to bed  
**__**Your daddy always knew you would turn out a slut  
**__**That's why he left you before you were old enough to shake your butt  
**__**You spend your days smiling making everyone else cry  
**__**The world will be a better place AS SOON AS YOU DIE!**_

_**Devan never gonna get the fella cos he's mine  
**__**Devan never gonna get to see his sexy behind  
**__**Devan definitely never ever gonna be  
**__**With Woody cos HE'S MY MAN  
**__**And he's gonna be with me**_

_**Ok now peeps, gonna try something new  
**__**Ok listen up cos this is for you**_

_**Everybody knows**_

_**That Devan picks her nose**_

_**And rubs it in the dirt**_

_**And eats it for dessert**_

Woody joins in

_**Everybody knows**_

_**That Devan picks her nose**_

_**And rubs it in the dirt**_

_**And eats it for dessert**_

Despite herself, Devan joins in enthusiastically.

_**Everybody knows**_

_**That Devan picks her nose**_

_**And rubs it in the dirt**_

_**And eats it for dessert**_

author joins in

_**Everybody knows**_

_**That Devan picks her nose**_

_**And rubs it in the dirt**_

_**And eats it for dessert**_

you join in

_**Everybody knows**_

_**That Devan picks her nose**_

_**And rubs it in the dirt**_

_**And eats it for dessert**_

Come on, I'm serious! SING!

_**Everybody knows**_

_**That Devan picks her nose**_

_**And rubs it in the dirt**_

_**And eats it for dessert**_

**_AND I BET SHE THINKS ITS YUM!_**

A guitar fell from the sky and Jordan caught it and started to bash it on the floor, rocker style… although that didn't really make much sense because she was meant to be a rapper… oh well, who cares.

"Whoa, Jordan that was really good! You are a great song writer!" Devan squealed from her chair like an eleven year old meeting Guy Sebastian. Jordan gave her a stare and Devan soon came back to reality. She was handcuffed a chair, and Jordan was soon going to be pulling out her beautiful teeth. Bitch.

Hey missy, watch you call a bitch!


	5. Leaving You With A Scar

Ok so this neglected fic is officially UNNEGLECTED! Sorry it took so long!

_Shoutouts go to Moonders, Supershipper, Jessa and dear dear AB. Aw poor Liz, hope this doesn't cause you TOO much pain…_

**Oh and just a little warning, this fic is about to go into overdrive... This chapter is going to be quite violent and we have a few drug references... Just warning ya!****

* * *

**

"So, Dev, let's say we cut you up and make you into a Devan sandwich? Eh, get it? Like beef devon?"

Jordan laughed at her little joke… well, it _was _quite funny.

Devan pouted , of course, in her pouty little poutish way of pouting.

"I swear, I'm just bones! I wouldn't taste nice!"

Meanwhile, Woody was off in his own little world. "Devan sandwich… that's wrong… on more than one level…"

Jordan frowned, and then snapped back into her 'ME turned crazed maniac with dentist equipment' mode.

"We really should get started…"

Woody quickly snapped back into his "detective with the Boston PD turned maniac accomplice out to get his 'could have been' girlfriend" mode.

'Could have been' girlfriend?

In his dreams.

Hahahahahahahaha………. NIGHTMARES!

Jordan was already looking through the dentist stuff. She grabbed two surgical masks, and handed one to Woody. They put on their masks, smiling at each other with their eyes. Devan Magpouter, for once, was actually _not_ pouting in the poutily poutish way that only Devan Magpouter could pout.

She was whimpering.

Holding one of those clamp things that dentist use, Jordan explained the procedure…

"So, we're gonna stick these in you mouth and pull out your teeth. Cool?"

"No!" Devan spat out, spitting out spit as well as words… or word.

Jordan grinned. "I'll take that as a yes. Ok, so… cool, Woody, here's your teeth pullerer… Ok, here we go…"

"WAIT! STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Jordan and Woody paused and look expectantly at Devan, their smiles saying "innocent" but their eyes saying "GUILTY!"

"What about anaesthetic?"

'Blank' played across both Woody and Jordan's faces. Jordan tilted her head, looking at Woody. "Oh, was that the stuff we shot up earlier?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yeah that's right. I flew!"

Devan raised an eyebrow, a disbelieving smile creeping over her lips. "Did you say _flying_?"

Devan cracked up, laughing her ugly little head off. "Oh, don't worry, it's just an insider joke…"

Of course, neither Jordan or Woody found this slightly amusing, because insider jokes are no good if you aren't one of the insiders, and Devan's smile quickly evaporated.

"So Woody, where were we?" Jordan enquired , before turning to Devan and laughing evilly. "Oh that's right, we were PULLING YOUR TEETH OUT!"

So back in with the clamps… and NO anaesthetic!

Jordan smiled her oh so evil smile and shoved back Devan's head, forcing her mouth open wide.

First the bottom teeth… the two clamps closed tightly around two of Devan's teeth. Devan winced in sheer terror, Jordan's voice echoing through her ears.

"On the count of three, Wood?"

Devan could hear, but she couldn't see the secret words being sent from Jordan via the communication of their eyes! Mwah ha ha….

"One… Tw-"

"AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Devan's piercing scream would have been heard from a hundred miles away. That is, of course, if they had not been in an endless room that was in the middle of nowhere. Wait, no, it was not in the _middle_ of nowhere, it _was_ nowhere.

Tears poured down her face as her mouth filled with blood. The pain was simply excruciating. She shot a death-glare at Jordan, before turning to Woody. How could he do this to her? Woody knelt down so he was on Devan's level, and placed his hand on her cheek.

"Don't cry." He said, calmingly and soothingly. "It was because of you that I almost the most important person in my life. You _know _pain. You _create _agony."

"I hate you." Devan sobbed spitefully.

Woody was unruffled. "I don't hate you. I just wish I had never, _ever_ met you." He stood up and walked over to Jordan, kissing her on the cheek. "Two down, two to go?"

Jordan smiled, handing him a clamp.

Devan wished to die… anything to put her out of the pain… and to know it was only going to get worse…

"One… Two… Three… … … … ? …"

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

The scream was louder, the agony was worse. Tears poured out of her eyes as blood poured out of her mouth.

Jordan stood there, not smiling, but happy. She'd accomplished something and the fact that she'd done it gave her a feeling of contentment, a feeling of calm.

Woody came up from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Another happy client." He whispered in her ear.

* * *

_Plz review! I will give you a virtual hug if you do!_


	6. CloserDisturbance

Ok, hugs go to Amethyst Blizzard, Moonders, Jessa, AliasAgent47, and Alexiamanda, but NOT to the anonymous person who told me that this fic is basically horrible. Flaming my fic is one thing, but when you can't even say anything constructive, it's a bit cowardly to not even leave an email address! Yeah, I guess it's all to do with free speech. You can say what you want, just like I can delete your review so other people won't have to read your unkind words!

And an extra shout out to Jessa, for telling me to get up off my lazy butt and write this thing!

Ok, now this chapter really makes use of the R (or M, if ya wanna go with the new rating system… which I still don't like, but am starting to learn to live with) rating. I'm just letting you all know that you might find this slightly disturbing, so don't bag me for it because I have warned you. Cool?

Oh, and I also want to warn you this it's a bit strange too… I was listening to weird music while writing this… ON AMETHYST BLIZZARD (aka Liz/Libby)'s BIRTHDAY! hehehe, liz, bet you really wanted to know that this horrible (in your opinion) chapter was written on your birthday… HA!

Anyways, on with the show. Oh yeah, and this is set right after the last chapter…

* * *

"Thank you, Woody." Jordan whispered, before turning to face him. "Have I ever told you that I love you? Because I do. I love you, so very, very much." 

"I love you too, Jordan. I love the way your hair curls around your face. I love the way you decide what you want, and then you let nothing stop you. And I love the way that you love _me._"

"It took us too long, dancing around each other for years. It took somebody else wanting you to make me realise that you had to be mine!"

"I was always yours, and I think we have taken care of the _other girl_."

Meanwhile, an attempted scream was heard from the other side of the room, where Devan was in an extreme amount of pain. However, Jordan and Woody were oblivious, only aware of each other.

"Thank you, Woody. For everything." Jordan dropped her head, almost ashamed at the lengths she had gone to, to get what she wanted.

Woody paced his hand at Jordan's chin and lifted her head, smiling at her.

"You don't have to thank me."

"What _do _I have to do?"

Woody traced a finger around Jordan's face, running it along her eyebrow, down across her cheekbone and down to her mouth.

"You have to kiss me."

Jordan smiled and leaned in closer. She looked into Woody's eyes for a moment, before shutting her eyes and moving in the rest of the way.

It was just a kiss… to start with.

Devan soon grew uncomfortable with the situation. This wasn't something she really wanted to witness. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but she could still hear them… gasping… moaning…

Things were going _way_ beyond what Devan was comfortable witnessing. I mean, wasn't it enough that she was minus four teeth? Wasn't it enough that her bold and beautiful smile was now wrecked? Wasn't it enough that all she could taste was the taste of her own blood? Wasn't it enough that she was in an atrocious amount of indescribable pain?

Obviously not.

Devan was past thinking now. Everything now just _was. _She just _was_ in pain. Jordan and Woody just _were_ on the floor, approximately ten metres away, and Devan just _was_ wishing to die.

Lucky for her, her prayers were about to be almost answered… almost.

Maybe it was the physical shock of her recent teeth-ectomy, or the mental shock of witnessing Jordan and Woody in a more than friendly exchange, but Devan could feel herself becoming faint. She wanted to shout for joy, but stopped herself, letting the unconsciousness sweep over her, giving her ex and her enemy a bit of privacy.

Though it would be safe to say that both Jordan and Woody had forgotten about Devan a _long_ time ago.

* * *

_A/N. Ok so did you find it disturbing? Well, I think one more chapter with this then it's done…_


	7. Forever Is A Long Time

Ok this is it. The last chapter of this story… Oh how sad :( Ok well before we start…

_AB- And lets see, I wrote this one on Sunday, so yeah… I am so tired, community service is SO exhausting! And I have dancing in less than an hour… Is it as bad at your place? One more day, I dunno if I'm happy or sad… Anyways, can I just ask you something? Were you okay on Monday night/Tuesday morning? Cos you seemed a bit different… Just looking out for you, ok?_

_Jen- Wow a new reader of this strange, strange story! Well I agree with you… Jennifer is a bit… sameish if you get me, like all her roles are the same irritating person. Hope you like the last chapter!_

And **thank you to the others who reviewed the last chapter, and everyone who reviewed any of the chapters! You're feedback keeps me going!**

Ok one last note, I got really stuck while writing this, so I figured, when in doubt, write about the most important/interesting thing in the world… ME! Don't worry, you'll understand what I mean when you read it.

* * *

Afterward, Jordan and Woody both suddenly felt extremely self-conscious, and immediately put their clothes back on. Even though she was passed out, Devan _was_ still like only three metres away. 

And let's face it, there's nothing romantic about a hard concrete floor.

Jordan thought for a moment, before carefully saying, "Woody, I think I kissed you."

"Whoa Jordan, you think?" That question, of course, came from Devan, who had just woken up.

Jordan shrugged. "I was referring to before when Woody said I had to kiss him."

"Yes, and I think the main word in that sentence is _kiss_. Kiss, Jordan, not fuck!" Devan was now in a bloody rage, blood pretty much everywhere.

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "I really don't think Woody minded too much…"

Woody, who had been in some kind of cosmic trance, suddenly realised someone was talking on his behalf.

Bad.

"No, Jordan, you don't talk for me, I talk for me!"

Devan was suddenly filled with hope, and Jordan was suddenly filled with dread…

Jordan swallowed hard. "Ok, Woody, you speak for you."

Devan perked up… perkily. "Yeah, did you not enjoy your _quality _time with Jordan just before?"

Woody smiled. "No… I liked it very, very much…"

Devan's jaw would have dropped if it wasn't so sore, and Jordan smiled before nudging Woody and whispering, "Why didn't you just let me say that?"

Woody took Jordan's head in his hands and kissed her forehead. "Cos I wanted you to know."

"Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay… and is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

Woody looked down… "It's a gun, you know, the one you asked me to bring?"

"Oh yeah! Well then take it out, I want to see!"

It was then that Devan started to panic. Was Jordan really going to kill her? And was Woody really just going to stand and take it all in?

Was it really going to end, right here, right now, in an endless room, her life taken by people she had trusted?

Find out… after the break.

Jordan held the gun in her hand, it was a crappy gun, of course, because she didn't want to waste anything on Devan Maguire, a bitchy blonde beast.

As she pointed the gun at Devan, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Woody faintly smile at her, a sign to let Jordan know that he trusted her to make the right decision.

She turned back around and looked right into Devan's eyes. Devan looked… scared, yet in the back of her eyes Jordan could still the evil that would never leave Devan, no matter how helpless she became.

She was about to shoot when she stopped herself.

"No." She whispered, before lowering the gun, and dropping it on the floor.

Devan was relieved… and confused.

" Jordan… I don't understand."

Jordan smiled a calculating smile. "If I shoot you, it ends. All the pain… ends. And it shouldn't. I want you to live with the knowledge of what you did, and the people you hurt, and the way it all slammed back in your face! I want you to live… and to remember… and to hurt."

Woody nodded in agreement, before realising a very important point he had to make.

"However, Devan, that does not mean you can continue to trespass on our lives. We want you gone, gone forever! I hear Ethiopia is good this time of year…"

"I was thinking of Europe actually…" Devan interrupted, smiling at the thought of living in Italy, France, China or some other European country.

Woody shrugged. "Whatever! Just away from Jordan and me because we love each other and there is no room for you. I repeat, there is no vacancy in the inn!"

"Ok, ok, I get it, so do you think you could uncuff me?"

and then...

As the girl lay in her bed, pen in hand, she thought to herself, "how can they get out of an endless room that has no exit?" She'd always imagined the end of the story would be outside, with Woody and Jordan walking into the night, like in the end of that episode from season two, Bombs Away, but it didn't really seem to fit anymore. Maybe she could just leave it hanging at the "uncuff me" line, you know, leave it up to interpretation. I mean, Europe or the endless room, Devan would still be emotionally and physically SCARRED.

As her hand started to hurt, she looked at the time. It was getting kinda late and she really needed to get some sleep, seeing as tomorrow was going to be an adventure. So she put down her pen, saying goodbye to Jordan, Woody, that evil bitch Devan, and her story. The end.

* * *

_Ok it's all over... no more devan torture... hope you liked it, let me know if you did!_


End file.
